Miss Independent

For the past three or so years, I seriously believed in "I'm only me when I'm with you". I felt so comfortable with my boyfriend at the time and I viewed him as my second half. The peanut butter to my jelly. The ping to my pong. After a complete shattering of my heart, I slowly started to realize that as much as I thought I'd found myself, I had hardly even taken the first step on my journey to discover the person I am and want to be. I had barely gotten my foot in the door. Obviously it took some time to start to move forward from a nearly three year relationship, but I started to and I am continuing to. Believe it or not, despite the sting of the pain every so often, I'm more excited than ever to be by myself. Especially at my age, going through my college years, this is the time where I need to figure out who I am without spending time and focusing all my energies on being with someone else. I don't have to worry about missing him when he's gone for a little while, or making sure we're on the same page, or worrying about what he's doing, or putting his happiness before my own. Now, this is coming from a complete hopeless romantic. I really love everything love and when I love I love hard. So, it's really saying something for me to say that right now its important that I stay single for a little while. I've realized that it's really important for most to have that some point in their growing-up years where they can separate and grow on their own. I'm not saying that anyone should by any means break-up with their significant other just to try out being by themselves if something is working really great, but maybe step away and travel or do some different things without your other. You might discover new things that you might love that you can grow from. I think its absolutely amazing for two people to go through these changes and be able to stay strong. Its truly a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, that didn't happen in my case. But, instead of looking at it as a curse, I'm taking the "everything happens for a reason" route in saying that it is a blessing. I still might not know the exact reason, but I'm sure I'll find it. I've already started to open up more and feel more comfortable being myself. I can only hope everyone goes through a time where they are truly happy and feel free to do whatever they want to do and be whoever they want to be. It's really a fantastic feeling. I encourage everyone to take a minute out of their day and ask themselves a question like, "am I who I want to be?", "what can I do next?", "what adventure should I take tomorrow?", "how can I be the best me that I can?", "am I happy? How can I change anything that's making me unhappy?" Answering these questions and acting on those answers can turn your whole world around in a great way. So, find yourself. Be whoever you want to be. Do whatever you want to do that's going to fulfill you. Making changes can be hard, but if you think it'll help you be the best version of yourself you can be, trust me - it will be worth it. Love yourself, and you'll find so much more love in everything else. I can honestly say that I am. I am learning more and more as my days pass by.

Advice... Take It or Leave It?

     Well, that's up to you. If you haven’t noticed, a lot of my more in depth posts are about self-empowerment, doing what you want and how you want to do it, and simply being who you are. After going through a whirlwind of a fall semester emotionally, I’ve recently realized that I need to start taking my own advice. Now, from the outside, it’s easy for someone to say ‘why wouldn’t you do that in the first place?!’ But inside the crazy world that I call my brain, it’s a lot harder than it looks.
     Anyone can give advice and anyone can listen to it; the hard part is following it through. I am the first one to admit that even as much as you want to, the first step to doing what you believe is right when it’s against what your heart wants is the most difficult step of all. “Follow your heart” is a famous piece of advice that many take very seriously. A large amount of people insist on following your heart and only your heart. But personally, I think that your mind is there for a reason. Yes, you can’t live without your heart. But, you also can’t live without your brain. They are both vital to your being. Without one, you’re not alive. Where I’m going with this is that they are hand-in-hand, and I think they should be treated that way. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t follow your heart. I’m saying that you shouldn’t blindly follow it. I think that if there is really an overwhelming part of your mind that is telling you that you should or shouldn’t do something or you should or shouldn’t take someone’s advice (even if it’s your own), you should probably at least give your brain a chance and listen and consider (who knows, it might even lead to a change of heart). In doing this, it makes it that much easier to take that first step.
     I want to make a point that I’m not saying you should ever question what you feel, because that is something that you simply cannot control. No matter what anyone says, you can’t control how you feel. You either feel one way or you don’t. That’s that.
     But, I am saying that you can control how you act and look at situations. That is where your brain comes in. So, whether you want to take advice or simply ignore it, that’s your call. As for me, I think I’m going to start listening to my brain a little more and my heart a little more. Yes, I said more for both. Most of all, I think that I’m going to start taking my own advice. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m not going to care what people think about me. I’m not going to let what other people want dictate my actions or feelings. I’m going to accept what I feel and accept what I don’t. I’m going to be the best version of me that I can be. Whether you want to follow my lead, or take someone else’s advice, that decision is all you. Just make sure it’s what your heart and mind truly want – not what someone else wants of you.